If Jewish was cool
we’d all be wearing tsitsit
hanging lower than our baggy jeans
tucking sheitls into
our pro-sport baseball caps
or perhaps we’d just
trade them for yarmulkes

If Jewish went on vinyl
smoked the Billboard charts
sold a billion pop CDs
we’d drop a funky backbeat
behind the Sh’ma
and we’d hear O’ Israel
(FM radio’s chosen station, baby)

If Silverstein hit the silver screen
with soundtrack by the Spice Girls
saved the universe
from alien abduction
and still had time to light the chanukiah
you’d best believe we’d dance the horah
in every nightclub
worth its weight in gelt

But this year
there’s no market
for Jewish chic
Maybe next season
Gucci or Prada
will do a Passover line
and the sports bars will serve
Manischewitz wine
but if we have to wait
another 5,800 years before that happens
this Jew
will be just fine

by ophi



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©2001 by Ophira Edut. The hand that rocks the dreidl rules the world.